Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Random thoughts....

Since this is my journal/scrapbook, anyone choosing to read is subject to some of my random thoughts.....there...that was your warning:

I have had a few extremely stressful days in the past week. It got me thinking of how one week can be fun, carefree, I have everything under control, and the very next week, there is enough stress to make me want to cry! I have lived this scenario this month.

Couple of weeks ago I had life under control! Dinners were planned and served in a timely manner. Dishes were done every night. Kids were bathed regularly, homework was done and everyone got to bed on time. There were enough groceries in the fridge, laundry was good! I had time to play with the kids, go on walks, talk with my friends, talk with my hubby, exercise! Pretty good week!

Cut to this week (remember it's only Tuesday). I taught my first lesson in YW. Although it wasn't super stressful, it did take time to prepare and finding time in my schedule already to ponder and pray about this specific lesson. Both our cars started leaking something fierce, so we took them into the shop and are now having to pay $2500+. I was so stressed yesterday. I woke up and had to help Mike take his car into the shop. Left the kids at home to get ready for school by themselves. Got home in time to feed Sydney and send her on her way. Took Amanda to the dentist. I was having a piano recital that night and needed to print programs. Our printer was out of ink, so I had to stop by Costco on my way home from the dentist with Amanda & Brandon in tow. I don't like shopping with kids....enough said.

Finally get Amanda back into school, ran home and made treats to hand out to piano students, took a bunch of phone calls, fixed lunch, and was getting ready to teach my first lesson of they day when it hit me. I started to cry! Not a big cry, just an overwhelmed cry. I talked with my cute friend and neighbor, Emily, about this time and she offered to help me put together the treats. She is so sweet and I would have had her help me, but I didn't even have everything together and printed so that she could help! Taught a bunch of lessons, dealt with our kids who all of a sudden were having meltdowns (they felt Mom's stress I think), finished teaching, got dinner together, finished up treats just in time to get to the library for the recital. Still on the verge of tears....

I thought back to my working days. I was managing 6 full-time employees and a temporary staff of 5. I was dealing with employees, customers, sales reps and my boss. I don't ever remember feeling so stressed I could cry! And I felt there was a lot of stress at my job. I don't know what the difference is.....I'll have to ponder this....

But, a light at the end of the tunnel....my students did SO GREAT at the recital! I had about 3 back out at the last minute (sickness, etc) and 2 students that didn't get there until after the recital was over....but those that performed were stellar! Everyone was really prepared and played perfectly! It was a good end to the day! Even Sydney got to play in the recital. We hadn't prepared anything so she wasn't going to play. When a song that she knew became available after someone backed out, she was thrilled to play!

We stopped by Dairy Keen on the way home...saw a couple of other students and their families and enjoyed our time together as a family! We were so proud of our girls! And Brandon is just cute.

So, I guess it's not all bad. I'm trying to figure out if I am a control-freak and stress when I'm not in control of a situation, or if it's just life. I'm just doing the best I can.....

4 comments:

d.r. gib said...

I think the reason you could function without crying at work is because once 5:00 hit you were "off" You had the night/weekends to relax, sleep and have fun. But now you don't know the definition on "off" you are always "on duty"!! You always do such a great job too!

Cath said...

You are so perfectly normal! The throes of motherhood challenge your character in ways even the rudest of CEO's can't. Your family "staff" is with you all day every day and your responsibility for them is a weighty one (eternal). I find the highs and goods are unparalleled, but so are the lows and bads. Thank goodness life is dynamic and those kind of rough days aren't every day. You're amazing Jill! You're such a great Mom. I don't know how you do as much as you do. You and Mike have a tremendous family! We love you!

Do anything you can afford said...

You could recognize that there was good in some of that awful day, so that's good. I agree that you are normal if not a bit on the amazing side. The trick, of course, is to find the fun in the awful. Not easy to do in the heat of things, but it helps sometimes. Love ya tons

Makell said...

You put into words perfectly how mind boggling it is that things can be so controlled, and then so out of control just days later. Life is crazy!! You are an awesome mom and had a lot on your plate and a lot of people that you didn't want to let down..(kids, recital students,parents etc) You are juggling so much and do a pretty dang good job, my friend.