Whew...I feel like this week we have been able to take a breath. I have been judging my weeks by how 'in control' I feel of the entire day. The week before...not so much. I have pictures to post from Sydney's latest cheer comp and things to document, but those will have to wait.
Mostly because I used my 'one-to-one' with Apple this week to learn about iPhoto and took the computer with me to the Apple Store. I haven't hooked the photo stuff back up.
But, I have decided it's really because I need to document this little story first. I have thought of it many, many times this week. I am one that usually hears the still, small voice and then doesn't act and only after the fact thinking, 'Oh, that was a prompting!'
(sorry about the red-eye)
Here's the story. I love Brandon so much! He is my favorite boy around by far! He is fun, smart and sweet. He loves his mama! He never gives me a lick of trouble. And I miss the snuggle time we used to get when he'd get home from kindergarten. We would sit on the couch and talk and read while he would unwind from his school day. First grade is a hard transition.
Well, we have been having just a couple of issues with him lately. Nothing that isn't normal. Especially the one about him wearing a coat to school. I know he is practicing his independence, but when the school calls me to tell me to bring him a coat, then I feel like it's not the time for him to make his own choice.
Oh, I tried to let him suffer the consequence of not wearing a coat on a day where it was about 15 degrees. I honestly don't think he felt cold. But, the adults at the school felt like he needed some outerwear and called me over. I tried to explain the lesson I was trying to teach my son, but they weren't buying it. I decided to choose my battle with the school in this instance and took the coat over.
I have tried a lot of solutions to this coat problem. He wears an undershirt when I remind him. He wears his light (very light) Utah jacket. My cute friend, Nicole, gave us a way nice jacket that used to be Taylor's (Brandon is Taye's biggest fan!) to see if that would help him.
And, Taylor's jacket worked that first day until it was time to leave the house. Then he threw a fit again. I gently pushed the kids out the door and told them to catch the bus. I closed the door, but didn't lock it. I went to my bedroom and started making my bed and straightening the room. After I heard the bus drive by, I heard a little knock at the front door.
When I opened the door, it was Brandon. He had stayed on the front porch until the bus drove on by! He told me he didn't want to wear a coat.
Well, I'm sad to say I didn't handle that well. I got upset and yelled and told him that he needed to listen to me because I know what I'm talking about and it's cold outside! I only want him to be warm at school and at recess and he should listen to me!
Now, we had read our scriptures over breakfast that morning. I remember feeling so great that we had accomplished that goal early in the morning, and the kids had done their morning jobs, they had fed the dog, everything was going exceptionally well until the knock on the door.
As we piled into the car to drive him to school, still wearing the jacket, I had a prompting that I should give him positive reinforcement on this issue instead of the negative he was receiving. It came so clear to me and I thought, this is the reward of reading this morning....help with my mothering.
Any of you who are down to your last baby growing up realize that things get less strict with the younger kids. Brandon doesn't do as many jobs as Amanda did when she was 6 years old, for example. So, I think that I have gotten lazy in my problem solving with this precious kid and I was gently reminded that morning.
I asked him as we arrived at the school if he would like to earn something for everyday that he wears his jacket to school without a fuss and makes the bus. Immediately his demeanor changed. He asked what could he earn and I told him that is his choice. I told him to think about it while he was at school and I would go home and make him a 'coat jar' For each morning he wore the coat, he can put a penny in the jar. He left happier. I felt happier and was so glad I didn't send my cute first grader to school sad.
When he got home, I had the jar ready and the pennies. He colored the jar (his idea) and decided how full the jar had to be before he could get his reward. And guess what? It has worked beautifully for the 3 days since!
How grateful I am for that prompting. It took a frustrating situation for Brandon and me and turned it into an easy way to encourage and praise him. It makes me feel like a nicer Mom.
We've since used the reward system with him for the other minor issue we have been having with him and it's working beautifully, too! (Except for the fact that he knows what he wants this reward to be and I can't find it at the store!!!! Yikes!!)
This was a great lesson learned for me. I wanted to document it so I can look back and remember. Too many times I rush through the day without stopping to think about how I can improve. I'm grateful that my reading of the scriptures had such an immediate reward!
